Something Honorable (Dirty Southern Secrets Book 2) Read online

  Copyright 2019. J.L. Leslie. All rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form without written permission of the author, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages for review purposes, promotions, authorized giveaways or teasers only.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either a product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

  Dedication

  I want to first of all, dedicate this book to my mom, like I do all of my books. She is who always supported me in my writing, and I dedicate all of my words to her. I miss her each and every day!

  A special thanks to my family for their love and support! Also, to my sister for listening to my ideas and never complaining! You’re the best! I love you all!

  A special thanks to my PA, Amber Feist, for being my friend and sounding board! For always helping me find the perfect cover and for reading my words!

  To my fan group, J.L. Leslie’s Lovelies, for being the best fan group an author could ever ask for! Thank you!

  To my street team, J.L. Leslie’s Pimpin’ Peeps, you are the most amazing street team! Thank you for always sharing my work!

  To my ARC team, thank you so much for reading my words! It amazes me each day that people take the time to read what I write and sometimes actually enjoy it!

  A very special thank you to my beta readers! I so enjoy your feedback and comments! You make this journey so much easier for me! Thank you!

  Last, but not least, a special thanks to Veronique Poirier with V Designs for making such an amazing cover for me! My vision for the cover was brought to life!

  Chapter One

  Tauren

  I reach across the seat of my car and grab my rumpled button-up shirt, pulling it on as I get out. I’m pretty sure it’s the same shirt I wore to church last Sunday, but I don’t give a shit. I also don’t give a shit about the looks I get as I slam the door to my sleek, black ’68 Charger. I’m sure it’s because of how noisy the engine was as I sped through the parking lot. Then again, it could be because I’m smoking on church property. I take another drag and drop my cigarette onto the pavement, snuffing it out with the sole of my shoe.

  I have a hangover from hell, and listening to Pastor Jacobs will make me feel like I’m living there. I come to church for one reason and one reason only.

  Helene Jacobs.

  Sure, I have track bunnies after me every Friday and Saturday night during racing season, but none of them are Helene. None of them can compare to her, although they fucking try. It could be because I know no one else has popped her cherry. Or it’s because she tells me she loves me, and I like to hear it, even if I don’t say it back.

  Maybe it’s because she’s the perfect incarnate of an angel and I’m practically sin walking. It doesn’t matter. She wants to give in to the temptation I’m offering and, fuck, I want her to.

  I push open the door to the church, the same church I’ve been coming to since I was a kid, and walk inside. I was baptized in this church. I attended both of my grandparents’ funerals in this church and cried at their graves out back.

  There was a different preacher back then. One who didn’t judge me because I drive a nail during the weekdays and a race car on the weekends. Pastor Jacobs has hated me since the very first moment he met me when I was eleven years old, and he caught me riding my bicycle in the church. Yes, hated me.

  I don’t know what he preached in Georgia, but here in Chapelwood, Alabama, I grew up being taught not to hate anyone. He can preach on how hate is a sin, but what that man harbors for me goes much deeper than dislike.

  “Hey, baby,” my mama greets me, giving me a kiss on the cheek before she heads back to go sing with the choir.

  I am the baby of my family. The youngest of the Holt brothers. My oldest brother, Kaler, is seated in front of us. His fiancé, Jenna, is to his right. His ex-wife, Brynn, emerges from the hallway, apparently having taken their daughter, and my one and only niece, Willow, to the nursery. She takes a seat at his left.

  Yeah, a little dysfunctional, but they make it work. I suppose it helps that Jenna and Brynn get along great. Of course, they were best friends when Kaler was married to Brynn, so there’s that.

  Kaler and Brynn divorced over five years ago, and she left town. She came back about six months ago, determined to be part of Willow’s life again. It was pretty touch and go there for a bit, since my brother can be an asshole, but I can’t say that I blame him. She did walk out on their marriage and had nothing to do with Willow the entire time she was gone. Well, except the few times my other brother, Kipton, arranged for her to see her. That didn’t go over too well with Kaler, and Kipton had the shiner as a result of Kaler’s disapproval.

  That’s all water under the bridge now. Brynn moved back to Chapelwood, lived with her parents for a bit but has found a place of her own now, and has a steady job with the Chapelwood Courant. She seems to be back to the old Brynn we grew up with. She traded in her blonde locks for brunette ones, looking much like her old self. I guess she’s here to stay this time. For my family’s sake, I hope so.

  Kipton sits on the other side of my daddy, his expression about the same as mine. We would both rather be somewhere else. Anywhere else. It’s a beautiful day outside, past our short cool snap from the winter. There are too many things we could be doing besides sitting in church.

  Then the choir comes out, and my mood changes. Why? Like I said. I come to church for one reason and one reason only, and she just walked in.

  I chuckle at the scarf she’s wearing, knowing it’s to cover the hickey I left on her neck. I didn’t mean to, but her skin is so fair, so delicate, that it was on there before I even realized it. It’s because she’s a ginger. Her red hair makes her skin look like porcelain, and when I’m near her, I’m like a damn animal and can’t seem to control myself.

  Helene Jacobs is normally shy and quiet, but I bring out a different side of her. She might not speak her mind around anyone else, but she has absolutely no problem telling me how she feels, what she wants. Well, not after I coax it out of her.

  She gives me a light smile, subtly running her fingers over the scarf. She licks her lips and fuck, I want to taste her. Damn, my dick grows hard just watching her. I know she wants my mouth on her again. Wants me to make her come again. She would never ask me to, but I know her.

  I’ve only had my head buried between her legs once and my fingers inside her tight pussy once. Just once. We were caught by Kaler, and she was so embarrassed she hasn’t let me come close to her sweet cunt again. Plus, she believes in all that waiting until marriage shit. I swear, I’ll die of blue balls first. Marriage is not in the cards for me, and Helene knows this. It’s fun tempting the shit out of her though.

  I’ll give it to her. She‘s not like any other girl I’ve fucked around with. She tells me to do what I need to do, that she knows I have needs. Damn, I’m tempted. We’ve been seeing each other for over a year now, and I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve jacked off to the thought of her. How many times I’ve listened to her voice over the phone and thought I would nut in my pants without even touching myself.

  Yes, I could have the track bunnies, and I’ll admit, I’ve had quite a few of them before, but none of them make me feel like this. None of them have me chasing after them, and I have been chasing Helene Jacobs for a long time now. I have never waited this long to get in a woman’s pants.

  I stare at her the entire service, even after she comes down from the choir loft to sit on the front row, drowning out her daddy’s sermon with fantasies of what I want to do to her. Ver
y inappropriate fantasies. They make me completely forget about my hangover and the fact that the sermon is about sins of the flesh.

  I would love to show Helene all about the sins of the flesh…hers and mine.

  “Are you coming for lunch?” my mama asks me, and I snap out of it, realizing that church is over.

  “Yeah,” I reply and spot Helene going into the choir room. “I’ll be right back.”

  She nods and heads over to chat with Jenna’s grandma. I scan the room to make sure no one is watching me. Church people are damn nosy. In fact, everyone in this whole fucking town is nosy as shit. The only time I even get to see Helene is when she lies about where she’s going, or she has a tutoring session with my niece, and I hate using Willow as our alibi.

  I reach the choir room and close the door behind me. Helene startles, nearly dropping the choir books she’s carrying. I lean against the door and crook my finger at her, motioning for her to come to me. She obliges with a timid smile on her beautiful face.

  Sometimes I don’t have to chase her. She comes to me.

  Helene

  I pretend that I’m not shy and put on this confident persona for Tauren. Most of the time, he brings out this side of me, especially when we’re kissing. He makes me feel sexy and beautiful. Like I’m the only woman in the world and that he only has eyes for me. I highly doubt that’s the truth, given his reputation, even though I’ve told him I love him.

  It’s the truth, so I haven’t wanted to shy away from that. My mama died when I was only ten years old, and I know my last words to her were some bratty hissy fit. I refuse to live my life without saying my I love you’s.

  She was always one to say them, telling me not to go a day without saying those three words. Her parents live in Tennessee, and I remember when we moved from there to Georgia and then from Georgia to Alabama, she would tell them on the phone every chance she got. She would cherish those phone calls and weekend trips we would make. Life is too short not to say those words.

  “My daddy’s deputy told him he saw you kissing some waitress down at Happy’s the other Friday night,” I tell him, stopping just in front of him.

  His brow furrows, but he still pulls my body against his. I’m instantly aware of how hard his body is against mine, and not just his private area. His chest is like a rock and his solid arms cage around me, holding me tightly against him.

  When we’re like this, I’m both excited and afraid. I get this sensation between my legs that I can’t explain. It almost hurts, and I’m not sure how to make the pain go away. The only times it’s felt better was when Tauren touched and kissed me there, and well, the last time I let him in that area, his brother busted us and that was months ago.

  We have our moments when we’re alone, but they haven’t been for long, and I haven’t let him touch me intimately again. Not like that. I do my best to sneak off and see him because God knows I want to see him, but I feel guilty lying to my daddy, and I feel guilty for wanting to do things with Tauren that I know I shouldn’t do.

  I’m not uneducated about sex. I know Tauren fingered me and that it was oral sex that he was doing on the hood of a car in his daddy’s shop, but I was raised that all of that, any type of sex, is not supposed to take place until marriage.

  The thing is, as much as I want to be a married woman when I have sex for the first time, I don’t know that I can deny Tauren much longer. I love him, and I know that sex is supposed to be between two people who love each other. I hesitate only because I’m not certain that he loves me the way I love him. He’s never said it back.

  “Only doing what you told me to do,” he murmurs, slowly removing my scarf. His dark eyes scan over me and come to a stop on the mark he left. Self-consciously, I raise my hand to cover it.

  “Don’t,” he chokes out. “I like knowing that I’ve marked you. That my lips put this on you.” He presses a kiss to the mark and goosebumps rise over my flesh.

  We had ten minutes alone in his brother’s living room last week. I tutor Kaler’s daughter, Willow, and Tauren always shows up at the end of her session. We cherish the few minutes we have together before I have to head home. Those ten minutes were spent with his lips on mine…and on my neck. Hence the mark he left.

  “You probably say that to those waitresses too,” I reply, unable to resist.

  I have no right to be jealous. Despite the fact that we have been playing this flirting game for quite some time, and I say game because I don’t know what to call this, we haven’t made an official commitment to each other.

  Although I love him, I told him to do what he needs to do. I know he has needs because he told me that once he realized I wasn’t the type of girl to sleep around. I lied and told him I was okay with it, but don’t tell me about it. Besides, if he carries on with other girls, my daddy is less likely to think we’re seeing each other. It makes it easier for me to come and go as I please, without being under his scrutiny.

  My daddy, the preacher and the Chief of Police of Chapelwood, has a strong affliction to Tauren Holt. Honestly, he has a strong affliction to any male who shows me attention. He is overly protective, having raised me most of my life on his own, and has made it very clear to me that he disapproves of Tauren.

  “I’m sorry,” I apologize when he doesn’t respond. He hasn’t stopped kissing my neck though, which makes my mind get all fuzzy. “I didn’t mean ‒”

  “Baby, I don’t want those girls,” he whispers. “Just say the word, and I’ll never touch them again.”

  I’m unsure if his words are true or not. If he’s only saying them because I’m in his arms and he thinks this is what I want to hear. Truth is, I’m twenty-two, and I’ve never dated anyone before. I don’t know how relationships work. I don’t have a best friend to ask advice. All of this is new to me. I would never admit it to Tauren, but he’s the first guy I’ve even kissed.

  What if I tell him I don’t want him to see other girls and he bails? I don’t want that, but I don’t want him to kiss other girls, or do anything with them anymore. Call me selfish, but I want him all to myself even if I can’t give all of myself to him.

  I take a deep breath, closing my eyes, and getting lost in him for a moment, before I answer, “I want you just for me.”

  He doesn’t skip a beat. His mouth moves from the curve of my neck to my mouth. I sigh when his lips meet mine, bringing my arms up and around his neck. The hardness between his legs doesn’t make me feel nervous when he grinds it against me but makes that ache build. He squeezes my behind, making me rub on him in a way that makes me gasp.

  “I’m just yours, Helene,” he promises me.

  The moment his words are uttered, a sharp knock sounds on the door. I quickly jerk away from him and point to the corner so he’ll be hidden before I open it. The choir director peeks her head inside.

  “Oh, Helene, you’re exactly who I was looking for,” Mrs. Snyder says cheerfully.

  “I came in to put the books up and was looking for a performance track,” I explain, glancing over to where Tauren is hiding. He’s being goofy, making faces at me and I do my best not to crack a smile.

  “I have some more at my home office and can also download songs if there’s a particular song you’re looking for,” she offers. “But I was looking for you to see if you could possibly lead choir practice next Friday night.”

  Tauren is adamantly shaking his head although I have no idea why. Of course, I can’t question him, or I’ll give it away that he’s hiding behind the door.

  “Um, I’m sorry, I’m not available that night.”

  She frowns. “Your daddy will be at the Baptist Brotherhood dinner in Montgomery, so he told me you could probably do it. I guess I’ll have to let him know that you’re not available like he told me you would be. It is the last practice for the cantata.”

  Tauren’s expression reads what I’m feeling, but I plaster a smile on my face instead of showing Mrs. Snyder how annoyed I am. “I guess I can rearrange my plans.”
<
br />   “Wonderful.”

  She leaves without thanking me and without closing the door. Tauren pushes it shut. “Why didn’t you tell her no? Stand up for yourself?”

  “It wouldn’t have done any good, Tauren. She would just go to my daddy and complain, and I’d still be stuck leading choir practice Friday. It’s okay,” I assure him. “We need to get out of here before someone else comes in.”

  “You’re too sweet, baby,” he whispers and kisses my forehead before walking out.

  He’s probably right. I should have stuck to my guns and told her no. I’m so used to bending to everyone else’s will that there are times that I don’t even know what it is that I want.

  Chapter Two

  Tauren

  I unbutton my shirt and shrug out of it as I walk to my car. I toss it on the seat, acknowledging that there’s a possibility I will wear it again next Sunday too. I peel out of the parking lot, spinning a tire as I do.

  It annoys the fuck out of me that Helene agreed to lead choir practice next Friday night. It isn’t like we had plans, but damn, now that I know her daddy will be out of town maybe we could have figured something out. Her damn daddy is always obligating her to do shit without asking her first, and she never says a word. She always smiles while she’s getting taken advantage of.

  Frustrated, I crank my radio up and roll my windows down, blasting my music as I ride through town to my parents’ house. I grab my pack of cigarettes off the passenger seat and light one up, blowing smoke out of the window. I don’t even notice the blue lights behind me until the siren sounds to get my attention. I grumble a curse as I slow down and pull off the road, receiving stares from every nosy onlooker as they pass me in their Sunday best. I turn my music down and wait.

  “You got that music a little loud, don’t ya, boy?” Deputy Moulder questions me, smacking a piece of bubble gum.

  I can guarantee this is the same deputy who told Pastor Jacobs I was kissing Abby last week when I barely remember the lip lock we shared. If Pastor Jacobs is not on duty as the chief, he has Deputy Moulder out as his eyes and ears.